Everybody in this world may have a confusing time in their own life. I also felt I lost myself because I lived in the shadows of others. The feeling of disappointment and failure had been followed me for a very long time. I think the first reason was that I hadn’t found myself. I didn’t know what I wanted to be, what I had to study for, and what my dreams were. I just felt that there must be something wrong and there must be something, something, that I had to decide…
As you know, around the age of sixteen, I must make one of the biggest decisions of my life. It’s really too hard to decide that I should do this or do that. While my mother wants me to become an English teacher, my father wants me to be a dentist. This topic is always being argued in my family.
But, what about me? What is my decision? My dream? I realized that I neither want to be an English teacher nor a dentist, but a scholar!!!!
However, the big problem was that how I can tell my parents that I can’t complete their respects. I was so afraid of disappointing them that I just kept it in my heart and gradually lost myself.
Besides, born in a family that everyone is successful and highly appreciated, I’ve been suffered from a big pressure. Living in their shadows, I was asked to be good at things I think I can’t be good at. I’m just a normal girl harbouring a big dream.
Moreover, I think I’m a gathering of contradiction. That’s why I’m cold but I have many friends and they are really my best friends. While I think I’m a normal girl, they care of me and appreciate highly. Because of all these, I feel tired. I used to walk in the hopeless rain and thought that I was a wrong star. Each time I looked back my past, I …Just thinking about it makes me shiver!
Oh dear, it’s not great! The problem is that those aren’t my entire problem. Born in a respectable family, I was stick a special brand as a good student but not. Under their hope, I’m a drop of the ocean, I’m weak and fragile. So I can’t touch my own dream.
But I’m a fan of optimistic ism. Do you believe if I say that I always draw my future?
After rain comes fair weather. Luckily, my ability isn’t teacher or dentist. About this, I must thank my low marks of Biology or Chemistry at school because thanking for them, my parents realized myself day by day. They realized that I’m not a future teacher or a good dentist but I will be a successful scholar day by day. Of course, up to now, they have encouraged me with my decision day by day.
Dream your dream and do what you can do and you will be the best ^_^!
Added (2010-11-09, 8:25 Am)
Everyone has an idol such as a singer, an actor/actress, their dad or mom, … for themselves. To me, my idol is my sister who’s also my best friend.
My sister is good-looking. She has got white skin and an attractive eye-look. She is not so beautiful as a princess, but in my eyes she is the best.
When I was a child, I shared a room with her. Although she is 8 years older than me, she understands me so much. I can always tell her everything about my friends, my dreams, problems in my life,… and even about my secrets.
Sometimes my sister is like a strict teacher. I remember that when I didn’t follow her instructions, I was usually got a bump on my head.
Our childhood passed so happily, we went fishing and picked fruit in our mother’s village together. Now my sister is living in Hồ Chí Minh city to study. I miss her so much.
I was told that when she was a child, my family was very poor, so she used to have a hard life. When I knew that, I love her more and more.
Onetime, she asked me how I would feel if she died??? I thought about it so much, at that time I always cried. If live without her, I will be like a fish out of water. She has become a part of my life since I could remember what happened around me.
I am the person who doesn’t like showing my feeling, so maybe she doesn’t know I LOVE HER SO MUCH.
Lâm Lê Thảo Vy